The Future Star Dreamer
by RazenshiaSapphire1306
Summary: In which Nanase Riku can see the future and tries to fix them. Massive AU. Platonic ALL x Riku. Trigger!Riku. Current Arc: Halcyon: Childhood Years.
1. Chapter 1

**FANDOM: **IDOLiSH7

**TITLE: **The Future Star Dreamer

**AUTHOR: **RazenshiaSapphire1306

**PAIRING(S): **None, Gen. Platonic Relationships between friends.

**GENRE(S): **Angst, Drama, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Family, Mystery.

**RATING: **M (For Language and Dark themes)

**SUMMARY: **In which Nanase Riku can see the future and tries to fix them. Massive AU. Platonic ALL x Riku.

**WARNING(S): **Language, Violence, OOC-ness, Depression, Dissociation, Confusion, Plot Holes, Fluff (I try), Humor (I fail spectacularly), SUPER SLOW BUILD, Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm and Unbeta'ed!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing except the plot of this story and a few OC.

**… **

**I. **

"Good night, Riku. Sweet dreams."

Instead verbally greeting back, Riku simply nod and smiles at Tenn. Due to the strict order of his doctor; He must not speak unless it's necessary due to the extreme pain it caused him when he do so because earlier in the morning he had another nasty attack. And, understandably Tenn were also aware of this even he was at the school when it occurred so he just bid him a good night and went back to his own room silently.

When he is certain Tenn already left, Riku smiling face turns neutral.

Unlike, the certain belief of his parents and Tenn that Riku enjoyed resting - he actually hates it.

Nanase Riku doesn't like sleeping even a bit.

He will stay awake for as long as he can even if it make his parents and Tenn much worry at his fragile health when morning comes and seeing him listless due to the lack of sleep.

Although later on, Riku will feel bad at making them worry about him so he let his parents and Tenn fret over him.

Still, Riku remains awake at the majority of time.

Because once he fell asleep, he dreams, [nightmares] overwhelm him until the only thing left is … drowning in the suffocation of disorient images, vivid memories of what's to come.

And the unfortunate part, Riku can't do anything except to be a spectator of the blessing and curse of his dreams.

He silently pray once he wakes up, he forgets.

But, in the end, he remembers everything.

**… **

**II.**

"Did you sleep well, Riku?"

Riku, who's in the middle of reading the best part of the story book - froze at the of the seemingly offhanded inquiry of his twin brother; it sounds bored, innocent and plain curiosity but Riku knows better - his brother probing answers regarding his bad sleeping mechanism and he suspects something.

To answer truthfully or not?

Riku can't underestimate Tenn-nii.

So, a little half-truth then.

He snaps shut his book at his lap and slowly turns at his brother who's silently observing his every move.

"Honestly, At first, I sleep well but in the middle of night - I woke up. No matter how much I want to go back to sleep - I can't."

Tenn tilts his head and give a sharp nod.

He slightly pushes Riku down on the bed, tucking him with the warm blanket and takes the book from his brother's lap but before he can start reading the part Riku hasn't finish - Riku bolts up.

"Sleep. I'll read the rest."

"No! It's still too early for me to sleep!" Riku protests.

Tenn give him a very unimpressed look that he can surprisingly muster well despite his young age. "You didn't get enough sleep last night. Stop being stubborn and just sleep. You look like you're going to keel over."

Seeing that Riku still adamant at remaining awake despite his lack of sleep, Tenn sighs exasperatedly. "Don't whine. Stop throwing a tantrum, it doesn't help your image of being a brat."

"I don't whine!" Riku shrieks. He looks vaguely offended. "I don't throw a tantrum and I'm no brat! I'm a big boy now!"

Tenn rolls his eyes at Riku's antics and before Riku can open his mouth to continue his complains, Tenn suddenly covers Riku's eyes with his hand and easily man-handle him to lay down despite his struggles. Since, Riku hasn't gotten enough rest his body is weak against even a slight push of child's hand.

"See? I don't even use my full strength against you and yet, your body goes down without any fight even it's just a slight push." Tenn points out dully.

"Can't you see Riku? Your body is tired so just listen to it."

Riku grits his teeth with obvious frustration.

Can't Tenn-nii see he doesn't like to sleep at all? But, he can't say anything because when he tries to - he wasn't allowed. A force keep stopping him from saying anything regarding about his dreams. It's like _fate _saying him - Riku's existence is … 'its' toy. A spectator of a bigger and powerful existence than him - Simply an entertainment for 'its' own amusement.

He can't even ask for help…

And even he can, No one will believe him.

Because he can't say - He has an ability to see the future via his dreams.

They will instantly thought he had gone insane.

Sometimes, Riku wishes he was just plain crazy because it will make things much easier for him. He won't mind the visions and most especially he won't feel anything at all.

People will judge at first but soon they'll leave you alone with your maddening thoughts.

Yet, Riku knows it's impossible for him. He's too much attach with his family. He can't afford to lose them.

_[Tenn-nii walking away with that 'man' because he's too weak. _

_Thinking that he had abandoned his family without reason. How pathetic of him. _

_Everything was Riku's fault.] _

He can't let that 'man' tears his family apart - he won't let go Tenn's hand without a fight.

Riku can vaguely hears Tenn reading softly the fantasy book; that was he borrowed from the library before he had an attack.

Tenn still covering his eyes with his hand.

Riku releases a shaky breath. His eyes feels a bit warm - he fights back the sob forming back his throat. He wants to cry his out.

**[I'm so SORRY] **

**_Please, don't leave me… _**

_**…Stay by my side… **_

**_Help me…_**__

**_…I am… [scared]…_**__

**_Tenn-nii… ] _**

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Tenn anxiously calls out him. "Riku?"

Riku grasp both of his hand tightly under the blanket but he stays silent.

Tenn had thought Riku finally fell asleep, he's too quiet and his breathing is even, but, it seems that's not the case.

He can slightly feel the damp under his palm - the one shielding Riku's eyes from the bright sunlight.

Is Riku's crying?

He seems to be having a bad dream.

"How can I see Tenn-nii? Your hand is on the way?" Riku playfully retorts back.

His hand suddenly holding Tenn's hand when he felt his older twin about to remove his hand away from his eyes. He can't let him see his pathetic side. He somehow managed to suppress his urge to cry his heart out.

He needs to learn to reign his emotions more.

"Riku…" He can hear clearly the worry in Tenn's voice despite his sharp tone. "If you're still awake, you should say something instead of pretending to be asleep."

[Ah, that's right.

Tenn-nii hates liar.

But, Tenn-nii was [is still] hypocrite.

Still hiding his real intentions, his anguish, his suffering and his love for his sickly brother by his supposedly cold-hearted façade.

In order to shield him from the harsh truth.]

Inwardly, Riku smiles mockingly.

Since, Tenn-nii is not a good liar, pretender - a hypocrite, like the older version in his dreams.

Nanase Riku made up his choice.

Riku will become him.

After all, Riku is a fast learner.

He'll become the person his beloved Tenn-nii hates most.

It's time to repay him for everything he did - for his future self.

"Riku?" The present-Tenn calls him again.

He didn't answer this time and he lets go his consciousness.

But, he never let go off his grasp at his twin's hand even as he instantly plagued by another dream.

Fortunately, Fate is merciful today.

He dreams of loud cheers of the crowd while standing in the middle of stage with Tenn-nii's at his side.

**… **

**III.**

Tenn stares at Riku's sleeping form - he finally manages to remove his hand away from Riku's eyes but he didn't move the tiny hand holding tightly him even if he's starting to feel numb.

Now, he can see clearly the bugs forming under his twin's eyes despite his assurance he's fine when obviously he's not.

He doesn't remember when Riku starts having trouble with his sleeping.

He bites back his frustration.

He was young. A child.

There's a limited thing that a child can do for his sickly brother.

He suspects Riku was hiding something from him and their parents.

Tenn vividly remembers when he confronts Riku about what's troubling him.

_["Riku." _

_"Hm. Yes, Tenn-nii?" _

_"Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?" Tenn softly asks. "You know, you can tell me anything, right?" _

_Riku looks at him blankly for a moment. _

_There's a flash of emotion crosses his eyes but before Tenn can named it - it's gone. _

_"Nope." Riku smiles brightly at him then pouts childishly. "You worry too much, Tenn-nii. It's just a slight fever." _

_Tenn might be imagining things but Riku looks like he wants to tell him something and at the same time - he looks like about to cry. _

_Starting on that day, Tenn began to be wary not only Riku's physical health but also his mental state.] _

Tenn doubts Riku remembered that confrontation because when he cornered him for answers, his brother was sick on that time.

Why won't Riku trust him a little bit more?

Is he really unreliable big brother that he can't say what troubles him?

For the first time, Tenn feels despair. He feels hopeless.

It feels like he's about to lose his brother if this continue.

If Riku refuses to say anything then Tenn will stay at his brother side and persists to get answers from him.

After all, Nanase's remarkable trait is their stubbornness.

He won't give up. Not to Riku - he won't lose his brother, not from himself, anything or from anyone.

But, first something must be done.

He needs to talk to their parents.

...

When Riku wakes up in the next day, they went to the hospital for a check up due to his trouble in sleeping.

**… **

**IV. **

It might all started on that rainy day.

A young man crying at the center stage, pouring his heart out singing even the words were being swallowed by the harsh weather and his notes came out strangle with sobs.

Once, the young man was done with his performance on the empty arena.

Someone clapped their hands and congratulated him for the marvelous performance. "Such wonderful performance. It's a shame no one to witness except of me. Tell me, young man… who are you singing for?"

"I…My precious family, I think?"

"You think?"

"Yeah, I hope this last performance reach them… I don't want them to fall apart. It's not their fault. No one's. It solely mine."

"Then become the bright star will alight their dark paths. Let the stars grace down once more from this corrupted world."

**. **

**. **

**. **

**. **

**{XXXX} **

**… **

**"I bid you the sweetest dream, my little star. May your wishes come true." **

**… **

**TBC **

**… **

**Author's Note: **My first ever IDOLiSH7 fanfic, I've just want to share it with this site as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Future Star Dreamer **

**Warning(s): **OOC-ness, Implied Depression, Dissociation, Plot Holes, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Hate.

**Beta Read by: Kuroechan**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except the plot of this story and a few OC.

* * *

**I. **

Riku is not happy at all.

"Stop sulking."

Riku is _definitely _not sulking.

"Yes, you are sulking."

Did he accidentally said that out loud?

Tenn raises eyebrow at him with a deadpan expression. "Yes."

Riku's face heats up with embarrassment as he said his thoughts again in open.

"Stop sulking." Tenn repeated, this time with more firm tone.

Riku turns his head away from Tenn, pouting. He's a bit annoyed with his brother right now.

He's completely aware that Tenn was the one who informed their parents regarding about his lack of sleep even though it wasn't necessary to tell them at all.

Since their parents are worrywarts -_Riku's fault_\- regarding about their health. Once they notice something is off - they'll immediately drive them off straight to the hospital or the nearest clinic available to find out what's wrong.

And that's how they ended up coming here. At the hospital, in a white sterilized room.

Tenn sighs seeing his twin's stubborn side but smiles tenderly at him. "Don't worry, It will be over before you know it." He reassures him, hoping it can make Riku feel more at ease.

However, Riku refuses to utter a word.

There's a lot of things that he doesn't like aside from sleeping that is, and one of those are hospitals.

The silence.

The white room.

The scent of medicine.

The doctors and nurses.

The false hope.

This place is maddening.

**[**"Iori."

"Nanase-san."

Riku can't even afford to look at him. He felt so ashamed even though he was aware, Iori never blamed him.

"I'm sorry."

At the corner of his eyes, Iori looked so angry that he might punch him and not that he'll avoid it - instead, he will even welcome the violence. After all… he deserved them. But, the thing that really caught his attention is - despite Iori's furious expression, he seems like he wants to cry, letting out some kind of overwhelming feeling he has pent up inside him.

"Stop saying halfhearted things. I would never have thought this but … you are the cruelest person, Nanase-san." His expression becoming more aggravated before carrying on.

"Just like Kujou-san said - you are a **_monster._**"**]**

"Tenn-nii."

"Hm?"

"I don't like being in here." Riku starts, his eyes is distant and vacant like his thousand miles away. "I want to go back."

Tenn approaches his twin cautiously. He could tell by just looking at his twin that he's anxious and scared of something.

"Of course." Tenn says, trying to rouse Riku from his silent brooding. "No one like it here even me, Riku."

"It's all white hell with fluorescent lightning, and it always reels of sanitation fluids… hardly sterile and perfect, rather filthy and deceptive." Riku slumps back in his bed, he had enough of this hell - he's staying in plus he's mentally and emotionally tired.

Now, Tenn seems going to panic but he forces himself to smile and comfort his brother. "I'll go cook some of pancakes once we get home after this."

Instead of replying playfully to remind Tenn; he'll just burn them. Riku simply closes his eyes and choose not to say anything more.

* * *

**II. **

The first thing that people would say about Nanase Akira is - he's too beautiful, more feminine compare to his wife and weaker. People will comment that Riku got his delicate appearance and fragility as both of them - are red heads and has the same eye colors; both of them has weak body; they're truly father and son. But, those descriptions seems false as none of it can be seen at all - when they will saw him at this moment - they will compare him to a feral beast.

"Can you repeat that again?" He suppress the urge to snarl at the doctor, his hand holding his wife's hand tightly - he fears that he might break them at how strongly his grasp was.

His wife's face rapidly turning white but her expression remains blank but if you look closely enough, you'll see the slight tremors of her body and eyes seems to be a state of both shock and terror.

They're here in the hospital because Tenn confronted them last night about their youngest having trouble with his sleep so they went here to know the reason of it and to monitor him in case his condition went worse.

But, never did they expect this. Not even in their wildest dream that…

"You're son has Comorbid insomnia. An insomnia that occurs with another condition. Psychiatric symptoms - such as anxiety and depression." Doctor Itsuki, Riku's private doctor looks grim and tired as he revealed his findings. "This is beyond my capabilities. You need to get your son to a psychiatrist. The mind is not easy to cure."

* * *

"How can be a bright child like Riku…" Akira struggles with his words.

He's absently walking to the direction where Riku usually stays in. He asked Rin to buy something for the kids to eat because the youngest will be surely be sulking at being here without knowing why or may be he knows but just remain silent? Akira shakes his head to stop himself from thinking further of the case. And they must be hungry.

He abruptly stops and frowns.

_"It's all white hell with fluorescent lightning, and it always reels of sanitation fluids… hardly sterile and perfect, rather filthy and deceptive." _

That's... Riku's voice. Since when did the brightest child in the Nanase household become so cynical? Why did they not notice before?

It feels like they were all living in an illusionary world created by Riku. A perfect world of no worries except Riku's illness.

_"I'll go cook some of pancakes once we get back home after this." _Tenn's voice. It sounds like he's in a verge of panicking.

Yet, Akira didn't immediately went in. He waits for a few minutes before knocking softly in order not to disturb the silence.

As soon as he went in, The first thing he see is Tenn's crumbling expression.

"Father…" Tenn tries to fix his composure but he's too shaken to do that.

Akira doesn't show his inner turmoil, instead he comforts his distress eldest son by petting his head gently and smiles warmly at him. "Why don't you go outside and help your mother buying some snacks for Riku?"

He'd already text his wife to wait outside of Riku's room and bring Tenn along - so he can calm down once again. Tenn is after all a mama's boy despite his seemingly strong attachment with Akira.

Tenn looks reluctant to leave Riku alone with him. How cute.

"It's fine." Akira continues to pats Tenn's head in silent comfort. "He won't be alone once he wakes up."

Finally, Tenn lets go his brother's hand and before he completely went out - he gaze at Riku's sleeping form with unconcealed concern one more time.

He can see Rin's form at the partially open door and Tenn jumps on her, seeking consolation. That's the last thing he saw before the door close with a click.

Akira smiles drop as he return his gaze back to his sleeping son.

A distant conversation echoes in his mind starts to resurface.

**[ **_"What makes you so excited, Aki?" _

_"Rin went to labor! She gives birth with fraternal twins!" _

_"Wow. That's ought to have a celebration!" _

_"Yes, once Rin recovers and the twins are alright to travel will come there to visit." _

_"Sure, I'll prepare your favorites! So, tell me. What's their names? What's the gender?" _

_"We decided to name the eldest as 'Tenn' and the youngest 'Riku'. Tenn looks like Rin while Riku looks like my carbon copy. They're both boys! Man, I lose to Rin about the bet of their gender!" _

_"..." _

_"Nee-san? Are you still there?" _

_"Nothing. I can't wait to see your children. I'm happy for you, Aki." _

_"Thank you. Nee-san!" _

**_… _**

_"I don't know what to do, Nee-san. Riku's been in the hospital again. I don't want to lose my child because of an illness! I want him to die in old age and not to suffer like this!" _

_"Calm down, deep breaths. No one will die especially your child, Aki." _

_"But…" _

_"Stop over-thinking things. Riku won't die. He will grow into a fine young man. I assure you that." _

_"Wow, Nee-san… You're too optimistic." _

_"Listen well, Aki. That child, Riku is special." _

_"Have faith in him…" _**] **

"Up until now, I still can't understand what you're trying to tell me. Nee-san." Akira admits, talking silently to himself. "What do you mean Riku will shine the brightest amongst the stars?"

_["After all, He's my…"] _

"What do you mean by calling Riku's as your _**'little star'**_?"

* * *

**III. **

**Depression. **

Such a ominous word.

There's a lot of possibilities that Riku has a _depression._

"_How come a child develops a depression?" Nanase Rin asks with a frown. " How can a bright child like Riku … who is always smiling, be depressed?"_

_Doctor Itsuki looks at his note and states. "There's a lot factors that can cause depression to anyone despite the varieties of ages. So, a child developing them isn't impossible. Rare but not impossible." Then, he glances back at her and Akira. "It's still early to judge if Riku-kun has depression. You need more tests to diagnose him if he has depression. I'm no professional in this department." _

_"It's fine. We will bring Riku to a specialist." Akira smiles weakly. "I'm sure we're over-thinking things." _

_"Yes, hopefully." Rin prays. _

_Doctor Itsuki glares at them. "I say those things to lighten your moods but don't get your hopes up. It's true, I'm no professional with mental disorders but I am a doctor - I witnessed a lot of people who undergoes with depression to know the signs when I see one." _

_"Trust me, Your child - Riku-kun has the same symptoms of the patients I had treated before - who also had depression." _

"Damn." Rin curses lightly."What's the point giving us a false hope then immediately crushing them? I really don't understand that man." Rin and Akira was already out of Itsuki's room and began to walk off.

Rin seriously wants to go in the gym and punch something or someone's living daylights right now, in order for her to release some of her pent up emotions.

Nanase Rin was part of boxing club and former street gangster before she met Akira and changes for the better.

Akira was the one who give her the reason to cherish herself more and life more. But, there's things that she hasn't told him. An old secret, she wishes not to be known not by him nor their children. It's too much burden to add especially to Riku who seems to be suffering.

Rin bites her nail nervously.

She needs to tell Akira about it as soon as possible. She has an inkling that her most guarded secret is also the likely nearest reason why Riku develops a depression.

After all, children who have family members with a history of depression or other mood disorders (such as bipolar disorder) are more likely to suffer from depression, often due to a genetic predisposition. Predisposition implies greater likelihood; it does not mean that child will necessary experience depression.

Children with chronic or severe medical conditions are at a greater risk of suffering from depression.

How does Rin knows all of these?

The answer is simple - Rin experienced them herself - She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder; mixed features most of her episodes. The symptoms of mixed episodes are mania and depression that occur at the same time or in rapid sequence without recovery in between.

That's the reason why Rin says that Akira gives her a purpose in life. He helps her unknowingly with her problems.

She hid it from him not because she fears he will hate her nor pity her - the reason she never mentioned it because she had already been cured, so there's no reason for bringing it up.

But since, Riku seems experiencing the same fate. She needs to consult Akira about it - she will never let her child suffer silently and experience it all alone.

Her eyes sharpen with her decision.

She nods approvingly to herself.

Something vibrates from her pocket and she fishes out her phone to see who and what messaged her.

Earlier before Akira went to check on the kids, he asks her to buy some snacks for them because of the sudden drive to the hospital.

The message came from Akira and it says: _Tenn is upset. Riku must have said something unsettling. Tenn needs you. I will deal with Riku._

It seems like there's a change of plans.

She sharply turns left to go straight where usually Riku stays.

Despite what people thoughts - Tenn is much closer to her in some ways. Don't get her wrong; Rin loves both of her sons dearly. But, Tenn seems like have a special spot in her heart. Tenn acts like her… he has her sharp tongue, wits and physical strength in short Tenn is like a mini-version of her.

It's kind of sad that Tenn forces to be mature in such young age.

She was aware that she and Akira is to blame for that part.

They're not a perfect family like the others had thought, Although they're trying to fix that mistakes with the best of their abilities even so, sometimes it feel inadequate.

And sometimes, they forgot to be a good parents for the twins especially in Tenn's case - he will do anything for Riku's happiness and health regardless he was being shove aside while his twin receives most of their attention and loving care.

Of course, Riku's not at fault of this.

Both Tenn and Riku are good children. Any parent would love and feel blessed at having them as their own.

Riku may not be the sharpest tool in the box but Rin figures that; he may notice their incompetence because Rin will never forget how he offhandedly brought Tenn inside the conversation.

_["You know it's okay if you don't focus at me too much." Riku mumbles as he chews a piece of bread. _

_"Don't talk while your mouth is full." Rin absently chides him. _

_Riku smiles at her cheekily. "Spend more time with Tenn-nii. Don't you think I receive more than enough of your time and care? Don't worry. I am sure Tenn-nii misses you as well. It's not too late." _

_Rin stares at Riku, agape. She's too much shock to utter a reply. Riku just looks at her knowingly before dashing towards Tenn's room to wake him up.] _

She should have known around that time - Riku's smile began to be force and Tenn starts to drift away from them.

Well, Riku has a point. It's not too late to fix that mistake.

As she thinks about it now, Riku may know that his family is slowly breaking apart without anyone noticing it by themselves and so, he tries his best to fix that first rift - and that is Tenn. He's pushing them to reconnect with him, in order to patch up whatever hurts they had caused.

So, the first thing she did when she sees Tenn wanting to cry but trying his best not to cry. She opens her arms wide for him to embrace.

And like a dam that has broken, Tenn dives in her embrace and cries his heart out.

Now, she wonders how she will gently break the news that aside his twin brother is physically weak, Riku is also emotionally and mentally unstable.

Rin shakes her head.

She will tell him later, but at this moment, what most important thing to do is comfort the distress child in her arms.

Right now, this is the moment of Tenn who deserves for a long time ago.

And later, they will solve Riku's problem as a family.

* * *

**IV. **

Surprisingly, Riku had a pleasant dream for once.

For the past few days that he was in the hospital, his vision doesn't come much, He wonders why? Not that he particularly missed them. He just find it strange. Hopefully, it will continue like that but he highly doubt it will be gone… He's one hundred percent certain once it returns - it will come with grudges.

Although, Riku still hates sleeping even if he feels a little bit better right now.

Even though he was already fully awake. Riku's eyes remains shut.

The silence continues aside from the sound of clock at the wall.

The blackness is the only thing he can see.

There's no vision and yet, Riku felt hollow inside but at the same time, he feels like suffocating.

Slowly, Riku open his eyes. The room is not so bright and the temperature is not so cold.

At the corner of his eyes, he can see his father sitting beside his bed. He had fallen asleep, watching over him.

Then his gaze lands at his small left hand, where the IV was attached to him.

For some reason… he felt the urge just to rip it off.

There's a loud buzz in his head, a disorient image of person talking to him.

_**[..akling…less…bur…en…] **_

He couldn't understand the words being spoken but he has the feeling that person is messing with him. Mocking and taunting him.

Riku bites his lip harshly that it draw some blood.

The feeling of hollowness disappears instead his entire being filled with immense hatred towards this person who was in front of his view.

Maybe if he thinks that 'man' is wearing Magical Kokona's outfit the negative emotions will disappear?

Riku tries and he almost regrets doing that. Luckily, it works though.

"Magical Kokona saves the day." Riku mutters softly though his face is white as sheets. "I will never doing that again." He looks so traumatized. The mental image is so disturbing that he might end up having nightmares of it for the rest of his life.

He needs some fresh air to clear his mind from that mentally scarring image.

With a silent sigh, Riku removes the bandage and loosen the clear plaster. Since, he doesn't have a clean gauze to pressed on his skin. He uses his scarf to prevent the bleeding. It only take a few minutes and it was finally removed.

Fortunately, he wasn't connected to the heart monitor or else he will be declare dead once he remove them. Riku would've been discovered trying to sneak out and would cause a huge panic.

Thank goodness for small mercies.

Slowly but surely, he steps out in his bed. He keeps sneaking glances from his sleeping father to make sure he remains asleep.

Silently, Riku walks out in the room without making much noise.

What he didn't know once he successfully went out. The man who's supposedly be sleeping open his eyes.

* * *

"I want to smoke." Itsuki stares at the empty corridor. It's just time for his break so he'll get some snack from the nearest store as well.

"You'll get lung cancer you know." A voice from behind comments lightly.

Itsuki almost trips upon hearing that familiar voice. His head whirls suddenly that he almost fear he would break his own neck.

"Why the hell are you here?!" Itsuki exclaims, pointing his finger at his patient. "Since when did you get here, Riku-kun?!"

"Language." Riku admonishes him. "Tenn-nii told me adults shouldn't curse in front of a child."

"I don't want to hear a lecture from a brat like you."

"I'm no brat." Riku sulks. "I'm a big boy now!"

It's true. Most of the time Riku acts his age like a normal child. But, there are times when Itsuki witnessed the far away look from him - A look in his eyes that child should never possessed. Like an old soul living in a child's body.

Itsuki folds his arms and tilts his head. "You should be in your room not here."

Riku turns away, pursuing his lips.

Itsuki fights back the urge to massage his temple at the upcoming headache. "If you were a big boy just like you said. Then, why are you sneaking out like a naughty brat? Plus, since when did you learn to remove your IV cannula?"

The more Itsuki questions Riku, the more the boy looks like chipmunk with his cheeks puffing like that.

"Well?" Itsuki prompts.

The red head boy is still ignoring him. He's definitely sulking now from being intercept here.

Itsuki began to stomp his left foot with impatient manner. "I don't want to waste my time here in the middle corridor. I'm hungry and if you continue this kind of behavior…"

Itsuki pulls Riku by his hand and turn to the direction where the boy's room was.

"Wait!" Riku stops him, grasping his hand with a desperate manner. "Please, I don't want to go back yet!"

"Why?"

"This place is suffocating." Riku admits silently. "I want to get some fresh air so I sneak out. Itsuki-san."

Itsuki figures that much. "What about the IV cannula?"

Riku looks at him, unimpressed. "I spend most of time here so of course I can learn a thing or two by watching you guys fussed over me."

"I seriously need to smoke right now." Itsuki face palms. "I'm out of nicotine. It's affecting my brain."

"Please, Itsuki-san. Stop using the same excuse every time. It's getting old." Riku deadpans. "You're not only in the hospital grounds. You're not the only will die because of too much nicotine. Don't forget your with…"

Itsuki covers Riku's mouth to shut him up. "Just stop. I get it already. I won't smoke."

Itsuki doesn't let go until the boy completely relent.

"You're so pitiful, Itsuki-san."

"Shut up, Just give me the piece of sweet." He knelt down just enough for the boy's hand to reach.

Riku gladly shove the piece of lollipop inside Itsuki's mouth like it was nothing. It's almost a daily occurrence so the young doctor had already gotten used to this kind of moment with the boy.

So, it's apple flavor today, huh?

Itsuki shrugs. "Let me inform your family that you're with me so they'll know you're safe. After this, we will go out and eat some snacks."

Riku eyes widens and then he smiles brightly at Itsuki. "Okay!"

* * *

Itsuki is fully aware that Riku's father is stalking them.

He gives him a shallow nod to past him the secret message - he will be borrowing his son for the mean time.

And the patriarch gives a thumbs and vaguely gesture slicing his neck with a serious look while pointing his son. A clear sign of threat - if something happens to my baby boy; you're dead.

Itsuki stares at the man blankly for a few seconds, not amused at all.

Nanase household surely consists of homicidal over-protective individuals.

Somehow, Itsuki wants to asks some deities - what his life has come to?

He will not die because of something to do with his lungs from smoking but he will get killed by Riku's merciless family.

Thank god, Tenn is not with Riku's father. That brat is much worse.

"Thank you for small mercies."

Riku glances up at him, confusingly. "Did you say something?"

Itsuki shakes his head vigorously. "It's nothing. Let's go."

He then pushes Riku forward.

Itsuki can feel his back literally being set ablaze with the eyes staring at him.

* * *

Itsuki and Riku had already known each other before Itsuki was assigned to take care of Riku's case.

They had met when Itsuki was in a slump.

That was two years ago.

The boy always appear whenever Itsuki feels down.

He will sat beside him and silently hums a song.

The child has a nice voice.

Later, Itsuki will learned the boy's name - Nanase Riku.

One time, Itsuki will asked why Riku doesn't show his talent.

Riku simply shrugged his question with another set of new song he began to hum.

As time passed, they had become friends.

But one time, When Itsuki wasn't aware yet of Riku's illness. He unknowingly caused a bad attack that lead Riku towards to the ER.

He doesn't show himself to Riku for months and when the boy finally came to him. The first thing he did - he started lecturing him about how smoking isn't good for his health that last almost thirty minutes before shoving a lollipop into his mouth.

"Eat this! Sweets will cheer you up in no time."

Itsuki doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at this moment. He almost got the kid killed yet here he was cheering him up.

"Brat, are you trying to make me diabetic?" For the first time, Itsuki smiled at Riku with a hint of wistfulness and fondness.

Riku stared at him blankly.

Itsuki lips quirked up. "The nicotine fairy is still the best."

"No! Rainbow unicorns are much better!"

At that day, Itsuki sworn that he will do everything within his power to help this child reached his dreams.

* * *

"So, tell me, why are we eating soba in the middle of summer?" Riku frowns.

"My money. My choice." Itsuki reasoned blandly.

Before Riku can open his mouth to retort back.

Riku's order is harshly put down in front of him.

"Hey, brat." That voice sounds so familiar. Riku meets a familiar piercing silver orbs. "If you have trouble with my Jii-san's business then eat somewhere else."

"Gaku!" An elderly man exclaims in the counter, rushes to grind young Gaku's head to bow. "I apologize!" He looks at the shell-shock Riku. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't mean anything bad with your words! This rascal is just being grumpy because he can't come here in his next vacation. He's just throwing tantrums."

Riku blinks owlishly.

"Jii-san! Don't tell them that!" Gaku complains. "And stop doing that! My head hurts!"

"It's true." Gaku's grandfather snorts. "You're throwing tantrums. Now apologize!"

"I'm sorry." Gaku grumbles.

"Good." Gaku's grandfather nods approvingly before he release Gaku's head.

Gaku throws him a last dark glare before rushing back inside, Riku guesses it's the storage room.

"Seriously that child." The elder man huffs with amusement. Then his gaze lands once again at Riku and Itsuki. "I am terribly sorry for that."

Riku shakes his head. "It's fine. I should have watched my mouth."

"Boy, I taught Gaku to know what's sarcastic words and what aren't sarcastic And since, he throws a fit with knowing that. I will compromise from the trouble he had caused. You look seriously bothered about how rude he acted. Please, order what ever you want. It's free of charge."

Riku nods dumbly.

Itsuki snorts. "I should bring you with me more. If I can eat free like this and everything."

Riku glares at him.

Yet, Itsuki just digs in completely ignoring him.

* * *

Riku doesn't know when or how does he fell asleep but he immediately understand what's happening right now.

He's dreaming again.

[There's a lot of blood everywhere. On the wall and at the floors. There's a lot of shattered mirror fragments that scattered around the room.

There's a lot of screaming and shouting outside.

Most especially, that voice sounds like… Tenn-nii.

He's so angry.

"You promised! Why did you do that! Haven't you done more than enough damage already to satisfy yourself?! I won't let you have Riku!"]

What promise?

What's going on?

**[Please, Tenn-nii don't cry. I'm fine… don't be sad. It's not your fault.] **

That sounded like his own voice.

Then, everything went pitch black.

* * *

**V.**

"Alright, that's it!" Tenn glowers at his younger twin. He had enough of Riku's antics."You can't _not eat - I know this may come as something of a shock to you but humans need food, espe_cially a sick boy, and last time I checked, you're very much human and sickly boy, Riku!"

Riku doesn't speak and just throw him a moody scowl of his own, which only make Teen more worried and convinced there was something wrong. His twin would normally whine something like 'the hospital foods are not good, Tenn-nii!' in return whenever Tenn will keep pestering him to eat more. But they we're no longer in the hospital and yet Riku still keeps refusing to eat anything even their mother made all of Riku's favorite foods.

Tenn, suddenly recalls the conversation transpired between him and his mother.

_Tenn eyes were puffy and still red from crying earlier on. _

_Tenn can't believe he bawls his heart out like a baby. He wants nothing more than to dig a hole in the ground and never come out. It's too embarrassing and quite a shameful sight. He had better control over his emotions than Riku so why? _

_ Then he felt someone patting his head gently. "It's alright to cry sometimes, Tenn. It doesn't make you weak to cry like that." _

_Oh. That's right - he wasn't alone. He forgot that his mother is with him. His face flushes with embarrassment once again. _

_His mother softly giggles. _

_"Mother! Don't laugh at me!" _

_His mother tries to muffle her snickering but the slight tremors and the unconcealed amusement in her eyes wasn't helping at all. "Sorry, Tenn. It's just that your so cute." _

_"I'm not cute!" Tenn shrieks quite literally. He's not cute at all. "Riku is the cute one not me!" _

_At the mention of his twin's brother name, the teasing glint in his mother's eyes turns into something somber. _

_Now, he felt really bad for ruining his mother's kind expression to a pained melancholic one. _

_"Tenn…" His mother gently holds his shoulder. "It's okay to cry if things are too overwhelming. And if you need a shoulder to cry on - I am here, your father and Riku, too." _

_Tenn averts his eyes at his mother, lips pursuing. _

_Why are they having such conversation right now? _

_Shouldn't they be talking about Riku right now… and not him? After all, Riku is more important than him… _

_His mother must have seen something on his expression because the next thing he knew was being engulfed with his mother's strong embrace. _

_"Tenn…" His mother seems to struggle with her words, tightening her hold of him. "You're also part of this family never ever exclude yourself. You are my child as well. I may never be the best mother out there… But, don't ever doubt my love for you. You're important. Both of you and Riku are my most beloved sons." _

_She slowly pull herself away from Tenn but doesn't let go of him completely. "I'm sorry, Tenn. I hope it's not too late but can you let me become a proper mother from now. Let me take care of you as well." _

_Tenn began to cry again. _

_He almost forgotten how much he long to hear those words. _

_Smiling warmly at him, his mother tenderly wipes his tears away. "I love you, Tenn. My dearest eldest child." _

(He knows that - there are other things that his mother wished to discussed on that day but never had a chance to, because Riku returned back before she had a chance to tell him.)

Tenn snaps back from his musings as he stare at Riku's form, thoughtfully.

Riku's return seems timely when his mother will tell him something important. Was in coincidence or he's just thinking a bit too much about it?

He slightly shakes his head. He can think about this matter later but for now, Riku must eat even just a little.

"Tenn-nii, if a man approach you with a promise of saving me will you go with them?" Riku abruptly inquires, so out of the blue that Tenn is renders momentarily speechless.

"What does that has to do with you eating?" Tenn demands. "Don't try to change the subject!"

Riku heaves a exasperated sigh - as if Tenn is the one being ridiculous! But still doesn't touch anything from the table.

Then, his eyes made contact with Tenn.

This is the first time Tenn has seen his brother with this kind of expression - a dead serious and sharp focus instead of the always smiling brother of his. In fact, this expression is kind of disturbing him in so many levels. It feels like the person in front of him isn't his brother at all.

"Riku. What made you think of that?" Tenn asks - Riku seems quite serious about hearing his answer, not to mention it is the first conversation Riku started in the past week.

Riku doesn't reply right away, he reaches the honey, pouring a scant amount onto his cup of warm milk before taking a sip from it.

"Be careful, Tenn-nii." His younger twin finally says after finishing his warm milk. Tenn stiffens at Riku's solemn gaze. "Anyone can use you … Use me as a leverage. Don't worry about me. Your happiness matters. I'll be fine. No matter what happens don't let anyone steal your life and your freedom."

Tenn suppresses a shiver.

Why does he feel like Riku is warning him about his untimely demise?

"You know I won't go and talk to strangers, right?" Tenn tries to keep light. "That was almost the first thing our parents taught us."

Riku only turns back to the table, without a comment, a frown creasing his brow.

"You say that now but Tenn-nii…" Riku trails off with a resigned note in his voice.

_(Tenn-nii is a hypocrite. A good liar if it's about protecting him.) _

Tenn shakes his head. "I promise, I won't let anyone use me."

Riku hums noncommittally, unconvinced.

Tenn studies him avidly. He had never seen Riku act like this before and it bothers him greatly. "You're… really worried, aren't you? You know that you're my precious brother. I will give the world if you ask me to."

Riku shot him a swift, unreadable look before glancing away again.

"I… don't like it," Riku reveals carefully, voice heavy with a storm emotions that Tenn can't begin to decipher. Sorrow, maybe. Grief. Regret. And anger, amongst others. "I don't want you to give me the world nor pluck the stars from the night skies. After all, the only thing I ever wish is for you to be happy, Tenn-nii."

'There was a story behind those words.' Tenn muses somberly. 'Perhaps several things that Riku can't still tell him.'

"I promise, I'll stay away from strangers and be careful." Tenn states out loud, temporarily resting a hand on his brother's thin shoulder. He should really eat more. "And I've got you to help me to stir them away, right?"

"You know that I am a trouble magnet," Riku reminds him, and while the worry is still there, it lessened somewhat, at least for now. "But, I won't let them come near you, Tenn-nii."

Tenn had no idea how much true Riku's words right now until it eventually happens - and it's too late for him to stop Riku.

"Besides that, I won't leave you." Tenn leans in and gently kiss Riku's temple. A seal of deal. "I am happy being here with you, Riku. There is no other place where I belong aside from your side."

This manage to draw a slight smile from Riku, but it was more than Tenn had been able to do for the past week so he'd take what he could.

Tenn is truly grateful he manage to make Riku smile albeit it's small. It's a big accomplishment.

Wordlessly, Tenn pulls Riku to stands up, maneuvering him towards the kitchen.

"Tenn-nii?"

"I promise to make you some pancakes when we return right?" Tenn gently reminds him. "I'll make some for you now. Mother is teaching me how to make them these past days you know."

Riku eyes widens then subtly softens and mutters to himself. "I am glad. They're taking my words seriously."

Tenn tilts his head at him, questioningly. "Did you say something?"

Riku shakes his head and slightly squeeze his brother's hand. "Nothing."

Tenn squeeze his hand back.

Then, there's a teasing glint appears in his eyes. "But, Tenn-nii. Are you one hundred percent certain you won't burn the kitchen?"

Tenn looks vaguely offended at that statement.

He huffs with amusement at Riku. "I may not be a great cook like mother since I just started... I assure you I know my ways not to burn down an entire kitchen unlike you, Riku."

Tenn shot him a haughty look yet he still looks regal.

"Is that a challenge, Tenn-nii?"

"Who knows, Riku."

In end Riku and Tenn had impromptu food fight in the kitchen along with making the pancakes. So, when their parents return back home - the kitchen looks like a battlefield and Tenn and Riku got caught red-handed with each holding a piece of food to throw at one another.

Surprisingly, their parents had not gotten mad at them for wasting food and ingredients. In fact, they also joins Riku and Tenn. They punishes them by tickling the twins to submission.

The Nanase household is filled with laughter in that day.

* * *

Unbeknownst to them, a storm is coming.

Itsuki locks himself at his office. His expression is grim.

No matter what he do. He can't forget what transpired on that day.

_Riku has been staring in the empty space for sometime now. _

_["Riku, let's go back." _

_Upon hearing his name for seems like the first time, he glances at Itsuki. _

_"Itsuki-san." _

_"Yes?" _

_For some reason, Itsuki feels unnerving staring at those eyes. They look so lifeless and empty. Very unlike the Riku's usual bright ones. _

_Is Riku having an episode? _

_"Be careful." _

_Itsuki blinks owlishly at the boy. "What?" _

_"Be careful… A man will show interest on one of the Nanase's twins. He will do anything to get hold of them. He will tear apart their lives."] _

Itsuki clenches his fist. He tries to asks Riku what he meant but the boy seemingly forget what happens when it just occur for a few minutes… like someone borrows his body just to speak at him.

His phone rings.

He answers it and gone straight to his question he wanted to ask for quite a while. "Can you tell me more about the Dissociative Identity Disorder or more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder?"

* * *

**TBC **

* * *

**Author's Note: **This chapter is monstrous and very tiring to write. There's a lot of research I did. But as always, they are not accurate so don't judge me. I am no professional.

As much this chapter is time consuming, I enjoy writing this. Especially my talks with my beta reader. She greatly helps me at finishing this. (❁´◡`❁)

And please don't forget to leave a review :)

P.S- The time line in this chapter is a bit messed up but I will try to fix that in the next chapter. Riku and Tenn are 8 years old right now.

Written: August 26, 2019, 10:10 pm.

Minor Edit: Sept/20/2019


	3. Chapter 3

**The Future Star Dreamer **

**Warning(s): **OOC-ness, Language, Depression, Dissociation, Confusion, Plot Holes, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Hate, Blood and Allusions of DID.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except the plot of this story and a few OCs.

**Beta Read by**: Kuroechan

* * *

**I. **

"Can you tell me more about the Dissociative Identity Disorder or more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder?"

There was a several moment of tense silence before the person on the other line finally speaks, his tone is grim and tense.

_"Heh, This is new. What's the sudden interest in these sensitive topic? As far as I know, you don't like getting involve with your friend's business…" He then pauses before continuing on but this time with a teasing tone of voice. "Wait, that's right, you don't have much friends so I'm technically your only friend. Wow! I feel so honored for you to have a heart to heart chat with me!" _

Itsuki clicks his tongue with annoyance although he doesn't bother to correct the latter because it's the truth after all.

"Shut up."

Itsuki could hear the muffled of snickering on the other line and he slightly regrets on calling this guy.

"Are you done with your fun?"

_"Yes. You're so cute, Itsuki. No need to feel embarrassed. I will be your friend!" _

"Shun…" Being at his limit, he wants nothing more to strangle Shun so badly but he has control so Itsuki merely spoke with a warning tone.

The newly named 'Shun' on the line was still quietly snickering in the background until he heard his name called out in the most sinister way and stopped teasing his unfriendly friend just for a bit.

_"Let me guess, you suspects one of your patients have develop a DID?" Shun's voice was gentle yet serious at the same time. "You have gotten quite attached even though before, you said that you won't, but I'm glad that's a lie - it's one of the proofs you're different from your parents." _

At the mention of his parents, Itsuki's expression darkens. "They're not my parents. I am different from those piece of trashes."

_"I know." Even though Itsuki couldn't see Shun, he's certain that his lips curved into a small smile. He knew that he had brought out a sore subject from Itsuki's past and yet, he is not overreacting like he used to. "So, mind telling me if my assumptions is correct?" _

"Riku, my patient is acting differently from his normal -"

_"Oh! So his name is Riku!" Shun excitedly cuts Itsuki once again. Then, His tone instantly sharpens and become serious. What a mood swings. "Let's say he's acting a little bit differently than normal. Is that enough for you to suspect something and give me a call and waste my time when it's this late?" _

Itsuki frowns and wonder if Shun is even using any of his brain cells to think. "I've been a doctor for years now and I've going out with you for God knows how long. So, I think I can tell what's normal or not."

_Shun hums thoughtfully. "Fine. Tell me the details about Riku-kun." _

And with that, Itsuki exactly tells him everything that he knows.

_Shun remains silent even when Itsuki was done telling him the information. _

Itsuki isn't in rush, he knows Shun is trying to piece the puzzles altogether, so he waits patiently for the latter to speak again.

_"I am going to ask some questions."_

"Go ahead."

_"Name of the patient?" _

"Nanase Riku."

_"Age?" _

"Eight years old."

_"Gender?" _

"Boy."

_"Family members?" _

"The family consists of a mother, father and older twin brother."

_"Riku-kun, does he have a good relationship with his family?" _

"He does. Especially with his twin brother. They're close."

'Way too close', Itsuki thought to himself.

There was a minor pause when Shun had finished asking his questions. Itsuki can hear the shuffling of papers on the other line as if Shun is checking some notes.

_"Dissociative identity disorder is one of the most complex psychological condition that is likely caused by many factors, including trauma during early childhood. For example cases of extreme, repetitive physical, sexual or emotional abuse. But upon hearing, Riku-kun's background he seems to have a nice environment and comfortable childhood so we can't use those examples." _

"He's also poor in health." Itsuki mindlessly added. "He's almost practically lives in the hospital."

_"Still not enough to develop of it." Shun states tiredly and he went on to explains things. "Dissociative identity disorder is severe form of dissociation, a mental process which produces a lack of connection in person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity." _

_Shun let out a frustrated growl, recollecting his earlier conversation with his friend. "You've mentioned that it only happens once and you're not sure if it's just an imagination. Did I tell you the symptoms of it and to recognize them?" _

Itsuki doesn't answer and that's enough confirmation.

"_Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct or split identities or personality states over the person's behavior which you witnessed once happening even though it might be just a child depression which by your story - I can clearly agrees that Riku-kun have them due to his condition."_

_"Where is it? I'm sure I just put it here." Shun states absentmindedly. _

At Shun's words, Itsuki looks mildly disgusted. "Don't tell me you're still living in a pig-sty life style?"

_"Wha-?!" Shun sounds offended. "Who's living in pig-sty?! I am not -Ouch!" Then, there's a sound of heavy object falling down. Shun starts throwing curses. _

Itsuki looks unimpressed with his friend's old antics. "Let me guess, you haven't clean your house for months now and your place is literally a dumpster right now. There's no space for you to walk in that, you step on something and then bump onto something hard so they starts crumbling down on you."

_"How did you know?" _

"Because you never change." Itsuki answers bluntly. "When I went to visit two months ago. Your apartment is literally a dumpster."

_"So sorry." Shun groans at getting scolded like this. "I'll try to clean them up tomorrow." _

"Do it now!"

_"What a clean freak." _

"What's that? Would you mind saying that again."

_Shun laughs nervously and decides it's best to change the topic. "Anyway, back to the main issue, As you mentioned, Riku has also been having a hard time recalling things which can be associated in dissociative identity disorder. But, Itsuki… This is all just hunch. There's no clear bases about it." _

"I know." Itsuki admits tiredly. "I might be over-thinking things again and hopefully, I'm wrong but what I witnessed was no simple child depression. I had a feeling it's much worse than that."

It was completely silent for a few minutes before Shun finally give a weary sigh.

_"You want me to be the child's psychiatrist." Shun states. "That's your main goal upon calling me. Even the child might not have DID. You want me to be the one to explore his depression and help him." _

"I trust you, plus I won't entrust the boy from any shrinks who's skills are only by their title."

_"You really do care about Riku-kun." Shun laughed amusingly knowing that his cold and serious friend actually has grown fond of someone. "He's lucky to have you." _

"No," Itsuki disagrees, his voice turns to fond nostalgic tone. "I'm the one who's lucky. That boy saved me when I was at my lowest so now, it's my time to help him out."

_"Fine." Shun finally gives up not that he was planning to decline the very first time he heard the boy's case. "Give me the contact of his parents. I will call them for an appointment with Riku-kun." _

"Thank you, Shun. You are really a great friend."

_"It's nothing. Itsuki. It's only natural for a friend to help their friend in need. Especially when they are always so down and sad." There was a hint of teasing in his sentence which Itsuki had picked up. _

"I take it back. Go die."

_"Aw~ How mean of you."Shun chuckled. "Alright, I'll give you my report once I've met Riku-kun so goodnight." _

"Sure, goodnight. Don't forget to clean your apartment."

_"Kay." _

With their final exchange of greetings and farewells, Shun ended the call.

* * *

**II. **

**[ **_Red._

_So precious. _

_"It's your color, Riku." He could hear voices in his head as he leaned on the tree with the latter's head on his lap. _

_He tries to stop the bleeding from the other's chest by using his own hand to apply some pressure, that was now covered in blood and he knew it was futile. _

_Red and red meets and mixes before dripping onto the ground, followed with salty tears that dropped onto the cheeks and instantly been swallowed by red liquid. _

_Red has always been his favorite color because they say its his color and he's precious to them but now, he hates it so much. _

_"Iori - please, no, don't close your eyes, Iori! Wake up! Please!" He starts coughing, bitter taste of copper bubbles from the back of his throat, while he watches his dear friend, his new-found family, one of his closest solid foundation aside from Tenn, struggles to breathe through the pain, his life slowly slipping away. _

_"Please… You promise… you won't leave me!…Don't leave me!" A hand tightens its grip slightly on his wrist, Iori's eyes flutters open as his bloody lips curves into a smile trying to say something. _

_"Ri…ku…" Iori gasps his name before coughing, blood dripping out his nose. _

_"Iori! Don't speak, Please!" The red haired teen bit down his lips, his knuckles deadly white as he grips onto his unit partner shoulder to keep him still and not move too much. _

_"Riku…" _

_There's a lot of times that he wishes Iori to call him by his name but never expected or wanted it to be like this. _

_"Please… Stop…" _

_Iori is still smiling despite all the pain he was in. _

_"Why?" Riku chokes out the word. _

_Despite all the pain and battered body, Iori manages to caress Riku's cheeks gently, painting him red again but he never mind, it's Iori, after all. _

_Riku instantly captures the hand before it lose its strength and falls down. _

_"Live…" It was a struggle for Iori to utter his finale message but he needed to, no matter how hard it was. _

_("You deserve to live in peace and quiet life, Nanase-san…") _

_Then, the body his holding become lighter and at the same time heavy; as he lose his very first friend. _

_There's a lot of commotion around him but he can't hear anything aside from the loud buzzes in his head. _

_(It's not your fault. It's an accident.) A voice whispers at his ears softly. It sounds Iori's ghost reassuring him. _

_But, Riku knows better. This isn't a simple accident. _

_(Bad things happen, You never know, you might be the target or your friends, Riku-kun.) _

_A warning that Riku doesn't take seriously. _

_A threat that came true. _

_Iori is wrong. _

_After all, it's his fault that he's gone. _**] **

* * *

"What do you think I should make for dinner?" His mother asks, completely oblivious to his conflict, her head poking out of the kitchen.

_("You know, you can tell me anything, right?" A vision of future Iori confronting him before his death. _

_Yet, Riku just laughs at him and doesn't tell him anything at all. _

_"Nanase-san." Iori's face is still impassive but he can't fully conceals the concern tone he has for Riku. _

_"I'm fine, Iori!") _

Riku still has to swallow back his tears.

Riku wants, so badly, to tell her something, to spill everything but he can't. The sight of her makes his heart ache as though it's being ripped out of his chest. He's not certain he could stand her company or father's even Tenn's for more than a few minutes without breaking down into either hysterical laughter or frantic tears.

It's good Tenn-nii isn't here or else he will instantly caught on his emotional turmoil.

But Riku knows his mask still has cracks and his parents along with Tenn is aware that something is wrong of him.

It doesn't matter… he will make sure to perfect honed a mask that isn't penetrable. That no one can tell any difference what's fake and what's real.

After all, Tenn-nii manages to do it in the future; that his older self wholeheartedly believes the lies his brother weaves for him, then Riku can certainly learn it as well.

"I…" Riku hesitates, then says. "I think I'm just going to go my room. I'm kind of tired."

He doesn't wait for his mother's response, just flees up the stairs.

What he misses though is the sharp, calculated and concern eyes following his small form until he disappears completely out of sight.

* * *

Riku sighs and closes his bedroom door before shutting down his window shades against sunlight and sitting on his bed.

He wants to cry, just to see if it will release some of the ache, but the tears won't come. Instead he just feels tired, clean and empty, so hollow. Even though he just woke up few minutes ago.

_["Riku-kun, it's not good to keep your emotions. It's alright to cry." Mitsuki-san comforts him even he is the one who loss a family member. _

_But, Riku doesn't cry. It's not fair, after all.] _

Riku shifts on his bed, until his lying on top of the blanket and looking up at the ceiling.

He doesn't mourn.

It's not fair to kill Iori when he's still living his life somewhere with Mitsuki-san.

Riku closes his eyes, presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and hopes that he never wakes up even he drowns into a never-ending nightmare.

"Iori…"

It hasn't happen yet, there's still time for him to change and stop Iori's early demise…

_"This time, I will definitely save you." _

He doesn't even notice when he falls asleep.

His dreams show him a long conversations with Iori of their unfulfilled future dreams and promises.

* * *

In the morning, he acts as if nothing is wrong and his usual cheerful self.

With a bright smile, he greets his father a good morning and his father beams back at him.

Breakfast is quiet affair - (quiet to him, because meals in his future self are so vibrant and lively) - with his father chattering mindlessly and Riku giving the occasional nod or grin around small bites of breakfast to show that he is listening.

Riku blinks and realizes that he misses those moments of his future self even though he doesn't have the right to do so.

"Where's Mom?" Riku asks absentmindedly to fill up the silence and longing off in his chest.

His father puts down his chopsticks and finally glances at Riku, various emotions flashes to his ruby hues but they're too fast for the boy to fully decipher.

"Your mother has some errands so she went out a bit earlier." His father answers amiably.

"Oh." Riku lowers his head, he doesn't know what to say next.

Riku isn't blind even if though he doesn't have the ability of premonition - he's aware his family are struggling financially due to his health and his parents business' not doing well.

"Riku?" His father voice out as a whisper, afraid that his son fragile sanity might shatter anytime soon.

The conversation with his wife last night is still fresh in his mind.

_"Riku's hurting and I can't do anything about it." Rin states miserably. "I know it isn't my fault but how do we help if he doesn't let us? What if we pushes in the corner and he lashes out at us? I just don't know anymore, Akira." _

_"Riku will be fine." Akira swears, embracing his wife. "And it's not your fault. We'll be fine." _

_Rin weeps. _

"M'sorry…" Riku's head is still hang low, his bangs shadowing his expression.

Akira doesn't need to be a mind reader to know his son's blaming himself of something. His mood dampens at the mentions of his wife's doing some errands and it seems like Riku has finally caught on their financial problem but Akira doesn't want to add another stress on him so he sighs before gently placing a hand on his head.

"Riku, you know, you can tell me anything, right?"

Riku recoils inside, the difference between the future Iori and his father starts to blur.

_("You're not a good actor, Nanase-san." The future Iori once told him in his dreams. "No matter how hard you try, I can read you easily.") _

Riku grasp the hand on his head and looks up to meet his father's warm and anxious gaze with the brightest smile he can muster.

"Nope, there's nothing I want to tell. I'm good. Dad!"

"Riku…"

"I'm fine!" Riku's voice is firm, his expression is unwavering.

_Iori is wrong. _

Riku can be a hell good actor if he wants to be.

_Fake it till you make it, Riku. _

* * *

Akira doesn't stop his son when he leaves to wake up Tenn even though it's obvious he's avoiding him.

Rin is right.

Riku's getting worse each day.

It seems like there's no avoiding at letting his eldest son to be involve in this matter.

"We'll be able to surpass this obstacle." Akira mutters under his breath. "As a family of one."

And yet, despite his firm conviction - there's a dreadful feeling won't go away, like it's only a matter of time before their peaceful lives shatters.

* * *

**III. **

"Rise and shine, Tenten!"

Tenn grunts in annoyance and swats at the hand tugging his blankets. "Go 'way! And don't call me that!"

"No can do! You're going to be late for school if you don't get up, Tenten." Riku chirps.

Riku had cheerfully started calling him 'Tenten' every morning when he came to wake Tenn up from his slumber. Tenn had no idea where did Riku get that horrendous nickname but no matter what he say; his younger twin won't stop calling him that.

Tenn fumbles for his alarm clock - the one he has turn off a while ago so he can get a few more minutes to sleep - and almost throw it in the general direction of his way-too-cheerful brother upon seeing the time on the alarm.

"You've changed the time again, didn't you?" Tenn's tone is exasperated yet fond at the same time.

Aside of giving him an odd nickname whenever Riku has to wake him up. His twin also develops a habit at changing time on his alarm clock so he have time to prepare more for his morning routine and to get school.

Riku starts to snickering at him.

Despite all of this, Tenn is adamant to stay in bed.

"Up! I'm done making breakfast!"

Tenn still doesn't move out of his bed.

"I also make some donuts with extra sprinkles and icing on top!"

Tenn and his parents are still surprised to find Riku can cook quite well despite no one taught him before; whenever they asked where and when Riku learns to cook - he will just smile and tell them with a sweet and knowing look - 'it's a secret'.

Even so, Riku's donuts is the best - much better than their mother's.

So despite wanting to sleep more, Tenn finally gives in with a groan and he stops wrestling for control of his blankets. Riku isn't going to let him go until he rise from bed.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" Tenn looks miffed yet exasperatedly fond at the grinning Riku. "Now get out; I need to change."

Why does it feels like Riku's spoiling him these past days?

"That's the spirit, Tenten!" Riku chirps, he hands Tenn's uniform at him.

"Since when did you learn to bribe?" Tenn crosses his arms, still grumpy at being interrupted from his beauty sleep. "And stop calling me that!"

"I learn from the best!" Riku looks at him pointedly with a proud expression.

Tenn eyebrow twitches with irritation. He can't refute Riku as his words are true. He uses bribery to make Riku eat more or to take his medicine.

Judging by Riku's triumph expression, he probably can tell Tenn's thought at the moment. Since when did Riku learns to read him so easily?

He averts his gaze at his twin.

"Tenn-nii is always prickly in the morning."

"And you're too cheerful in the morning for my liking, Riku."

Riku beams at him as if he receives a great compliment from Tenn.

Now, that Tenn thinks about it - Riku seems fishing out words from Tenn whether it's reproachable or small praises; he will brightens every time he did that. It's as if Riku is starving for Tenn's attention and he isn't giving enough of it. What a ridiculous notion. Riku is Tenn's top priority aside from their parents and his studies.

"Tenn-nii?"

Tenn snaps from his musing and shot him a unreadable look before he gaze pointedly at the door.

With a final reminder of breakfast, Riku sweeps out the door without a fuss.

Tenn watches him go with a pensive frown before heaving a long-suffering sigh.

Riku starts to change.

The change is subtle and unnoticeable if you're not looking enough. But, Tenn is always watching and observing Riku's every move and words out of habit he develops because of the worry about his poor health.

If Tenn and Riku's to be compared and be described- they will instantly say that Tenn is the moon and Riku is the sun.

Tenn is the mature and serious one while Riku is the out-going one.

The thing is despite of Riku's circumstances, he can scare them all away just by being far too _happy_. Not that Tenn is complaining or anything - he's grateful that his brother is having fun even if it's mean he'll end up as entertainment for Riku.

His twin wasn't hyperactive or anything, just very, _very cheerful. _Whenever Tenn feels down; Riku will always find a way to make him smile and Tenn can't help love is brother more because of these moments.

Riku's always happy and bright.

But that brightness now, is starting to be swallowed by something dark and unpleasant.

It all started one night a few months ago, Riku came at his room with a detached look that was nothing like him.

The red haired remained quiet throughout the night no matter how hard Tenn to probe some answers, Riku refused to say anything as he simply holds him tightly as if Tenn was his lifeline.

In the next day, Tenn didn't missed the penitent stare that Riku subjected him and their parents especially those looks main focus was him - when he thought he weren't looking.

Tenn wasn't blind nor naïve.

Tenn could see the way Riku was struggling to keep his emotions in check lately but failing miserably as it started to overflows, seeping through his fingers even while he tried desperately to push them back.

Riku was - is _hurting._

Riku became _weary _and _restless_.

Riku still smiles but underneath lies a self-blame that accompanies his every action, restraining him further - the longer he spent time with them.

Was it their fault?

No. It wasn't.

Because if it was… then Riku would never say those words sincerely.

_("Tenn-nii, you know that I love you, right?" _

_"Of course. I know." _

_"It seems like you don't believe me at all." _

_Tenn wants to deny this but no words came out. _

_"I will always keep saying 'I love you' until you finally believe in me and I won't stop from saying it." _

_"I love you so much, Tenn-nii!" _

_"I'm glad you are my twin brother!" _

_"Thank you for everything, Tenn-nii!" _

_And Tenn secretly cries on that day. _

_"And I love you too, Riku.") _

Tenn couldn't help the fear deep within his heart that he was slowly losing his precious brother to a nightmare that wouldn't let him go. Riku was becoming an empty husk of his former self. A shell with a mind everywhere and anywhere else but the present.

There was a lot of times, Tenn swore Riku was looking at him with the expectation he will disappear before his very eyes if he so much blinked. Riku's mind tended to drift often now, hands clenching as they trembles and eyes seemingly lost and tired.

"What are you seeing, Riku?" Tenn asks as his mind returns to the present.

Whatever it was, Tenn knows it ruining his younger brother.

"What are you not telling us, Riku?"

_I want to know so I can't help you. _

Tenn bits his lips, eyes blazing with so many emotions. "Why won't you tell me anything at all, Riku?"

_Don't you trust me anymore, Riku?_

* * *

Riku must notice his emotional turmoil because as soon as he see him, the red haired child starts fussing over him.

"What's the matter, Tenn-nii? Is the food bad? I swear that I eat all Dad's cooking so you don't need to worry having a stomachache!"

Tenn chuckles softly as he flicks his fingers lightly at Riku's temple. "Silly, Riku. If you eat all Father's cooking then it was you should be worried about stomachache."

It was an inside joke in the family that their father is banned from going near at kitchen not because he will likely burned them, it's because what ever he cooks always ended up making them sick.

Riku pouts at him, covering his forehead when he sees Tenn hands are up for another attack but he remains on his spot. "It's true! I don't know how dad does it when the rest of us are decent enough to make a simple meal!"

After that the sombre mood of Tenn instantly disappears at Riku's happy chattering about small and silly things he brings out in their conversation.

In that several moments, Tenn had momentarily forgotten his problems and Riku had unknowingly helped him again.

And unwittingly, Riku diverts his attention somewhere else once again.

* * *

True to his words every time Riku doesn't fail to remind him that…

"Tenn-nii," Riku says softly. "I love you."

Yet, his eyes are also screaming about the fear of abandonment.

Riku refuses to budge if Tenn forgets to promise. There's one time that happens and Riku's reacts badly and Tenn doesn't want that to repeat again. He wouldn't either if Tenn didn't sound sincere.

Tenn is certain that whatever troubles Riku he's likely one of them.

Riku has sense of deep fear about his leaving the house as if Tenn won't be coming back home which is kind of ridiculous… Tenn won't leave Riku as he can't imagine ever parting away from him.

Then he remembers their recent conversation.

It seems like Tenn's promise isn't enough to ease Riku's fears.

"Did you have a bad dream, Riku?" Tenn crosses his arms, probing some answers. "Did I already told you, there's no other place where I belong aside from your side?"

As always Riku remains silent but he never averts his eyes at Tenn still waiting for his promise.

Tenn should be worrying more about what Riku was fearing by making him say and pledge the same thing each day. But somehow Tenn could only feel was the swelling of his heart because everyday, over and over, he realized Riku's words both verbally and not were tellinng him how much he loved him.

Inwardly, Tenn swears even if the whole world is against them - he will never leave him.

How can he break such simple and fragile wish of his brother when he looks so broken and frightening at prospect of him leaving?

"I know." Tenn softly response. "I will be back. I won't be going anywhere, Riku… so wait for me, okay?"

Riku beams at him as if Tenn has given him the entire world.

* * *

The room is so familiar to her and yet not, Riku huddles in his bed for a long moment before recognition starts to kick in.

Riku was his own room, his breath shaky as he removes the heels of his hands against his eyes.

He can't remember what he dreams about but his room isn't making him feel safe at all.

The otherworldly shadows in the dark, by the chair near his desk covers with clothes so it looks like a looming monster staring at him through the night. The handles of his closet looked like a teeth, almost, like the doors are wide open to swallow him up.

_You're being childish, Nanase-san. _Iori's voice softly reproaches him at the back of his mind.

He can hear the heavy ticking of the clock in the wall, and the wind howling outside his window.

_'To be scared at simple things - you are truly a spoiled child, Nanase-san.' _

"Shut up. I'm a child!"

He can't calm down.

The sound of the howling winds, making him jump out of bed entirely and race toward the door.

He isn't even thinking straight, didn't care that anyone can be awaken by his actions.

All he can think is to find a safe place to hide.

Riku didn't stop to knock, but instead fumbles with the doorknob for longer than expected, and throw himself into the room the moment it opens, nearly stumbling in his haste as he race across the room toward the bed and jumps right up in one flying leap.

There is a painful 'oomph' as Riku scrambles to hide under the covers, knowing that if he hid here, then no one wouldn't be able to get him.

_You're being a irrational and a child again, Nanase-san. _The Iori in his head reminds him again but Riku can't find himself to care.

"Ri'ku? Wha -?"

Riku peeks a little bit from under the covers very quickly, just so he can press a finger to his lips and shush Tenn, and then disappears under the covers again as sleepy pink hues blinks at him.

It takes him a few moments before he can show again, guiltily, and told his brother. "There were monsters in my room."

As if on cue, the wind picks up again, rustling violent outside Tenn's windows. Riku yelps, burying his face under the covers, even if he manages to elbow against Tenn's side painfully.

That seems to wake him up more, and Tenn only groans and buries his face into his pillow, well-used to Riku's antics. It's been a while since he seeks his comfort though. "'S not monsters, you just had a bad dream, Riku."

"There is! What if something comes to eat us?"

"You're watchin' too much horror movies."

"Tenn-nii!"

"Then I'll stop the monsters. Go to sleep, Riku."

Rationally, Riku knows that he's only sleep deprive and his mind completely messed up right now - that he is simply acting a spoiled brat as the voice in his head pointed out once again.

But even Riku can't stop the urges to be spoiled by Tenn. It's a good feeling after all and he gives the best hugs.

"Tenn-nii!" Riku whines.

Tenn eyes are already shut again, then he finally lifts his arms for an invitation.

Riku makes a happy noise as he gladly throw himself at his brother, hugging him tightly around the chest in a move that usually had him complaining about needing to breathe.

Riku heaves a sigh of relief as he hears the beating of Tenn's heart.

_He's alive. He's here. He won't go away. He won't leave me again. He promise. _

Tenn wraps an arm around him, patting his hair gently for a moment before his breath starts to even again.

Riku wiggles a bit to get more comfortable, but then he felt he needs to remind Tenn. "If the monsters come, what will you do then?"

"_Riku,"_

Riku is certain that Tenn gets his message - he wasn't talking about the monsters in the movies nor in the closet, but the monster that will soon comes and tears apart this family.

"I will outsmarts them." Tenn exclaims, despite still not opening his eyes.

Riku rests his head against Tenn's chest listening at his heart's beating as he wills himself to go back to sleep, closing his eyes for a moment at a time them he opens them again.

"..Tenn-nii." Riku whispers quietly after a few minutes, and his twin brother did nothing more than hum a soft acknowledgement. "Promise?"

Tenn makes a curious noise, and Riku elaborates. "That you will beat the monsters, too. So they can't ever get you!"

They both know that Riku's talking about their last conversation about someone taking advantage of Tenn's kindness and selfless again.

Tenn is unresponsive for a moment, and Riku can't help but think he finally fallen asleep again before he feels a hand against his hair, rubbing his scalp soothingly.

"Promise. I'm stuck with you."

At Tenn's statement, Riku finally able to sleep without any dreams in that night. It's one of his best sleep within the past months.

_But, it's okay for you to act to be spoiled sometimes, Nanase-san. _

A small smile curves at his sleep.

_Thank you, Iori. _

* * *

Rin gently opens the door as softly as possible, silently stepping into the room.

She giggles.

Who would have thought that her aloof child had a soft side too?

It must be Riku's charm.

She cups a hand over her mouth to stop the giggles from escaping and waking up the two, another hand shakily takes a picture of a Riku snuggles warmly against at Tenn who had an arm used as a pillow by the red haired child and another wraps protectively around him.

Rin smiles at the peaceful expression of Riku and Tenn before putting away her phone.

She quietly exits the room.

* * *

Tenn is almost done with his assignment when he heard a knock from his door.

_'It must be Riku.' _Tenn thought absently.

Riku also developed a habit at visiting him whenever he was doing school works and simply wants to spend time with him - nagging him stories about his school life.

Tenn is a bit surprised that Riku almost knows everything at their curriculum when he shouldn't be that knowledgeable when his home teacher reported before - Riku doesn't show any much progress in their study session. But, it isn't really that surprising because Tenn is aware that despite Riku's seemingly naivety, he is much perceptive than he looks.

Riku is home-schooled because of his health and sometimes Tenn caught his brother looking at him with envy and longing every time he set off to school.

When Tenn asked him about if Riku wants to go with him, this is how responds with:

_"I am okay, Tenn-nii. I will get better so I can walk and study with you at the same school someday." _

_The question is only at the tip of Tenn's tongue. 'Are you not lonely alone at home while we aren't here with you?' _

_But Tenn keep the question on himself. _

_Riku tilts his head, eyes still shining bright as ever every time he stares at Tenn, his returning back to life. And Tenn is glad that he can help him even just for a bit. "Tenn-nii is with me along with Mom and Dad so there's nothing to be sad about!" _

_But Tenn knows Riku wants nothing more to live normally and go school with him but fate is preventing his simple wish. _

There's another knock snapping Tenn from his memory lane when he doesn't answer from the first time.

"Come in."

Tenn blinks dumbly at seeing it is not Riku who came to see him…

"Father? Is there something you need from me?"

It's an understatement for Tenn to be surprised at seeing his father standing on his door step as it's rare for his mother to see him especially his father as they know he can take care of himself.

Waves of akin to bitterness and resentment crushing upon Tenn's small frame as he stares at his father but his expression doesn't change even the slightest.

_Why is he here? _

_Should he be at Riku's side? _

_Riku needs his parents care more than him. _

Tenn can withstand a bit of loneliness and sometimes a pit of jealousy at his parent's sole attention and care for Riku.

_Is this what Riku's feeling every time he sees Tenn going away to school and having his freedom chained at this place? _

Inwardly Tenn shakes his head. He's being ridiculous. He can't comprehend Riku's suffering and compare to his childish feelings.

After all, Riku deserves all the pampering in the world as no one can tell what may happen next to him - he's after all one step closer at the death's door.

And Tenn always dread about that and doesn't want to dwell if that _ever_ happens.

His father tries to get his attention upon clearing his throat.

"Tenn, are you busy right now?"

Tenn slowly shakes his head. "No, Father. I'm almost done with my assignment. Where's Riku?"

Something is unnerving the way his father scrutiny at him.

"Riku is with your mother. They went to buy some groceries." His father answers gently though his eyes remains at Tenn's frame with guarded expression.

"Oh." Tenn doesn't know how he should interact with his father except with brief greetings and occasional talks that means so little now that he thought about it. And most of the people around them thought - they're close. How absurd.

His father just stood there, staring at him which makes anyone squirm but Tenn gets that a lot from their neighborhood and school who loves to gossip behind their backs so he had gotten used to it.

"Father?" Tenn calls confusingly.

His father tilts his head then a sad and nostalgic smile spreads at his lips. "Wow, I never realize at how much you have grown these past years. I'm such a pathetic father."

"Father… Wha-?"

Wordlessly, his father cross the distance between them and before Tenn can step back, he grasp hold of his face gently.

Tears startles to brims at the corner of his father's eyes as he gaze at Tenn with various emotions and one thing that Tenn can clearly read is... proud… His father is proud of him. _Why?_

Tenn is baffled and scared at the same time. Scared of what he doesn't know. He hates not knowing.

Gently, slowly and softly his father caresses his face with so much care as if Tenn is a treasure.

"You are such brave child." His father starts as tears starts to fall down from his eyes, his voice heavy with so many emotions.

"...Father? What's wrong? Please don't cry!" Tenn is too much shaken to say anything else.

Yet, his bitterness and akin resentment to his parents starts to swell but his worry for his father overwriting that.

He still cares and loves them no matter how much he denies and says in his mind - he doesn't care - all that matters is Riku's happiness when in reality - he seeks for their comfort and attention. He also wants to feel their genuine love and care. He wants a confirmation that - he is still part of this family.

Riku and his mother already given him that.

And Tenn will never say out loud at how much happy and grateful he was although he had feeling they can read him like an open book.

… All that left is his father…

"I am such a bad father."

Tenn is about to protest but his father hushes him to stay quiet and listen.

"I would never realize your pain and how much I missed your growing into such a brave young man… If _Riku hasn't pointed it out_** my failings** as a_** father**_. I'm such a pathetic man and a very bad father." His father admits his voice cracking at each words he spills.

Tenn stares at his father, speechless.

"I would simply continue at hurting you… my own son because of my ignorance and foolishness. I know a simple sorry is not enough to heal all the hurt we - I caused you. But, Tenn, can you find in your heart to forgive this idiotic father of yours?"

"You and mother hurt me." Tenn startles at his own slip, he wants to avert his gaze and run away from here but his father won't let him.

This is too much. First, it's Riku, Second, it's mother and then finally, his father. Why are they always makes him an emotional mess?

"True, we did… We do still hurt you, I hurt you." His father instantly agrees. "I foolishly thought you will be fine on your own, completely forgetting that you are just merely a child who also needs his parents, _his father. _I'm so sorry, Tenn."

"I hope you can give me a chance and forgive me." His father pulls him into a hug before letting him go. "I will give you time to think about it and whatever you decides I will respect it."

At seeing his father about to leave, Tenn's eyes widen.

Without giving much thought of it, Tenn embraces his father's back and refuses to see him go.

"Don't go!" Tenn shouts, holding his father tightly. "I forgive you because there's nothing to be forgiven! Just please, don't go now!"

All the negative emotions suddenly disappears and the only left is emotional tiredness and immense relief…

He felt more than see, his father smiling at him, patting him gently at the head.

Tenn slowly release his father in order for him to move a bit but not completely letting him go.

His father embraces him and kisses his temple softly. "You are truly a kind child, Tenn. I'm lucky to have you as my son. Thank you for giving another chance to be father again. I love you never ever doubt that."

_His father acknowledge him. _

Finally.

Tenn is so happy.

So not even a month has pass and yet Tenn once again cries his heart out not of loneliness instead this time it is happiness and immense gratitude for being part of this wonderful family.

They may not be a perfect family but Tenn is so proud to be born as a Nanase.

* * *

It takes some time for Tenn to eventually calm down and stop from crying.

Tenn's head resting on his father's lap as he occasionally caressing his hair softly for comfort.

"Father…Is there something else you wish to tell me?"

Tenn finally decides to break the silence and confronts his father as he slowly sat up and meet his gaze.

His father let out a weary chuckle and heaves a sigh. "Am I that obvious?"

Tenn tilts his head and deadpans. "Yes, father and mother are too transparent. This is about Riku isn't it?"

His father scratches his cheeks, sheepishly. "You're too perceptive, Tenn."

"Not really." Tenn shrugs. "It just that I have a hunch ever since the incident in the hospital."

His father hums thoughtfully and went silent for several times as if gathering his scattered thoughts.

"This is a very important and sensitive matter."

"Everything about Riku is important and sensitive matter." Tenn nods in agreement.

"This matter isn't only covered Riku but your mother is also included as well."

Tenn perks up curiously at this. "How?"

His father smiles sadly at him. "Listen. Your mother asked me to talk you about this because it's bit hard for her to explain things all over again even though she's somehow managed to overcome it especially she's thinking about she may the reason why Riku's having almost the same symptoms of her. She really felt bad about it."

Tenn listen attentively and nods once again for his father to continue on.

His father did his best to explain clearly but without too much details about his mother went through and telling him that at first, his mother doesn't want to involve him as it's too much for a child to carry but his father managed to convince her that Tenn is too smart and aware to keep him in the dark will only cause repercussions.

Tenn remains quiet at the entire explanation and listen carefully as his eyes keep drifting on the picture frame at his desk and then gazing back at his father.

"Thank you for telling me this, Father."

"No need to thank me, you are part of this family so you have the right to know much of the situation plus I'm putting a heavy burden in you upon telling you this."

Tenn grasps his father hand and squeezes them. "No, I'm fine. Is there any way mother will feel better?"

"Your mother is a fighter, she will bounce back soon and I'm sure Riku will be alright as well at the end."

"Is there anything I can do to help them especially Riku?"

His father smiles at him, pleased. "It's simple. Be there for him. Riku is the happiest when he is with you. As long as you are here with us… We, four can overcome any obstacles."

"Okay."

His father beams at him, messily ruffling his hair. "That's a good boy."

"Father! Stop!" Tenn shrieks back fully shielding his head from his father as he dash away from him.

His father laughs merrily as he chase him around his room.

Despite his protest, Tenn is also smiling along with his father as they playfully chase around each other in his room.

On that day, they receive a call from Itsuki's friend, a fellow doctor, though his specialty is mind disorders and that he will gladly be Riku's psychiatrist and will wait for him to meet his soon-to-be-charge.

* * *

**IV. **

"Riku, is there something you like for me to make tonight's dinner?"

"I'm fine with anything." Riku answers. "After all, whatever you make tastes heavenly, Mom."

His mother softly laughs at his answer then playfully flicks Riku's forehead. "Flattery won't help you, young man. I won't tell you the surprise your Dad and me prepares for you and Tenn."

"I'm telling the truth here, Mom!" Riku pouts, sulkily. "And, I'm certainly not going to ask you about your secret surprise along with Dad."

His mother eyes soften as she gently ruffles Riku's hair. "Seriously… Is there something you want for me to get? A new toy? A book? Anything… Mom will get it for you, Riku."

Riku wants to outright say that - they're having financial problems so they can't spend too much money and that he doesn't need anything but since his parents are trying their best to conceals this from him and Tenn; Riku will keep his own opinion to himself because he has plans to help them.

He merely compromise with his mother because knowing her, she won't stop nagging him until he eventually give in. "I'll think about it."

His mother nods at him approvingly before giving him a last pat on his head and instructing him to wait for her on one of the corner of the supermarket's resting bench as she doesn't want him to get tired from walking too much.

Riku simply complies with his mother instruction as he already know the consequences at countering her and it won't end quite good about it - he doesn't want to get lectured for an hour or two about his health. Seriously, Tenn must gotten his reproaching attitude from their mother.

He watches his mother disappears at the entrance of the market before walking off towards the benches.

But before he can sit down - there's a sharp pain in his head and a loud static noises.

[_**"...r…dy..t..te..?.."**_]

What?

What's this? Is he having a vision even though he's awake?

As if fate hears his thoughts, the pain in his head intensifies and static becomes loud that he can't hear anymore his surrounding except it.

His mind went blank and the next thing - he is no longer at the bustling supermarket…

[ _He had another attack._

_He was doing quite well at their practice but then his twin brother seemed like eaten a sour fruit as he started pointing off-comments about his performance. _

_Trigger wasn't the only idol group with them at that time - Re:Vale was also present as they have a joined live concert for a charity event. _

_It was like he trying to find someone to throw out his pent emotions and Riku was the easiest target of them all. _

_"Hey, Tenn. What the hell is wrong with you?" Gaku tries to stop Tenn but Trigger's center didn't event acknowledge him or anyone trying to break him and Riku apart. _

_"Riku is a hindrance." Tenn exclaimed lightly. _

_"Kujo-san." Iori pushed Riku behind him, blocking his view of his twin. "There's nothing wrong with Nanase-san so why are you aggravating him early in the morning?" _

_"Step aside, Izumi Iori." Tenn demanded. "I'm not done talking with Riku." _

_"That's enough, Tenn!" Gaku and Ryu pulled Tenn away from Iori and Riku. _

_Once they managed to pull him away they started lecturing and probing him answers why he was acting a total prick towards Riku when he's doing fine at their practice session as they went out the room. _

_"Nanase-san," Iori worriedly called his unit partner's attention whose staring at the empty space where his brother currently stood a moment ago. _

_Riku doesn't answer. _

_"Nanase-san?" Iori tried calling him again as he silently observed Riku, he finally noticed something is off with him - his eyes were unfocused, he was sweating a bit too much even they just started practicing and his breathing is a bit erratic. _

_Could it be - ? _

_"Nii-san, can you bring a bottle of water and Nanase-san inhaler from his bag along with some cold medicine." _

_"Iori?" Mitsuki looked at him confusingly but did what his younger brother instructed. _

_Wordlessly, Iori checked Riku's temperature. _

_He's burning up. _

_The next thing that happened, was pretty much cause a panic and expected when Riku swayed, if Iori wasn't holding him - he will definitely collapsed on the cold floor. _

_Different voices called out at IDOLiSH7's center in alarm upon witnessing him passed out at Iori's arm. _

_This is the scene Trigger first thing saw as they entered the room once again. _

_Gaku and Ryu rushed at the anxious crowd to help the fainted teen. _

_Iori meet Tenn gaze - he seemed unaffected about the ordeal but he would never fool Riku's unit partner as he can easily see the worry and fear at the red haired seemingly unmoving form which he trying to conceal but failing miserably. _

_It seems like Kujo Tenn noticed his brother having an attack along with a cold which was not a good combination that he tried to stopped him from practicing any longer as the red haired seemed not aware that he was sick. _

_Still, he should have said normally and not hurting Riku by bringing up his former issues. _

* * *

_Riku woke up in the hospital with Tsumugi watching over him as the others still need to practice. _

_"I'm sorry, Manager." _

_Tsumugi only shook her head. "No need to feel bad about it since you don't notice signs as you are too focus in the practice. Luckily, Iori-san and Kujo-san realized your condition before it went worse." _

_"Tenn-nii?" _

_"Yes, Iori-san said that the first notice you were probably sick was Kujo-san." _

_Riku didn't answer at all as he stared at the outside scenery. _

_"Although I don't agree at how Kujo-san dealt with the issue," Tsumugi stated but Riku could clearly hear she wasn't happy with Trigger's center. _

_Riku only smiled sadly at this. _

_"He should be happy that he was given a chance to spend time with you and not try to push you away." _

_At hearing Tsumugi's voice cracking at the end of her sentence Riku finally return his gaze at her and he was surprised to see her crying and Riku didn't know how to calmed her down. _

_"Manager…What's wrong? Please. Don't cry." Riku gets a tissue from the near desk at his bedside and handing them to Tsumugi. _

_"Kujo-san is really lucky to spend time with you again and he should be thankful for that, Riku-san." _

_After saying that, Tsumugi spend her time with Riku in silence. _

_There's a deeper meaning of that and Riku have a hunch at what it may be… _

_So, when Otoharu came to visit on him later that day - he questioned him. _

_"Did someone die in your family, Otoharu-san?" _

_Otoharu came into a halt upon hearing his question, his amiable expression becoming guarded. _

_"What makes you ask that, Riku-kun?" _

_"Manager left a few words that caught my attention and my thought only come with one person… Musubi-san." _

_"You only just met her once." Otoharu sagged listlessly as he sat at the foot of Riku's bed. "You're way too perceptive than expected, Riku-kun." _

_"People tend to overestimate me, Otoharu-san". _

_Otoharu laughed mirthlessly at this. "So what do you want to know aside the confirmation of Musubi's death?" _

_"How did she dies? There has to be more story than a simple illness." _

_Otoharu sighed weary as he his smile grimly at his charge. "Seriously, Riku… why are you still hiding your true self from the others?" _

_"It's still not time. They aren't ready for that truth." _

_There's a brief silence between them. _

_"Musubi used to loved music and I'm sure she never stopped loving them despite telling otherwise." Otoharu started. _

_"It become too much isn't it?" Riku gently pointed out. "The expectation… The fame… Everything went crushing down, right?" _

_"Yes." Otoharu nodded briskly. "Her shine dulls. She distant herself from her closest friends and family… it affects people around her. The bonds started to crumbling as Musubi breaks as well." _

_Riku didn't say anything as he listened attentively at his boss. _

_"It's too late before we found out that she was very sick and my time with her along Tsumugi is too limited to fix what is broken. She asked me not to tell anyone about it even Sousuke." Otoharu clenched his fist tightly. "I can't refused her because how can I? It was her dying wish and I failed her so much… even if hurts so much to be hated by once your best friend.. it's the least I could do for her." _

_"So you create a plausible story that even Yaotome-san will seriously believe without doubt." _

_"Yes." _

_"You made him and your daughter believe she died in suicide." _

_"Yes, that's how my friendship with Sousuke went downhill."] _

"Boy!"

A voice calls out him sharply, snapping him back from reality.

Riku doesn't know that he was crouching on the ground and he only realize it when he feels someone is hovering, holding him anxiously.

"Boy! Are you okay?!"

Riku opens his eyes. When did he close them - his head is still hurting but it's only a dull pain compared earlier.

As his awareness returns to the present, his eyes widen at meeting a very familiar yet vague figure worriedly peering at him.

Blue jeweled eyes and wavy brown locks tied in high pony tail, an angelic appearance he won't ever forget seeing even it's just one of a life time.

The person holding him steadily… is none other than… Takanashi Musubi.

The statics in his head returns loudly but what it says is clear as day:

**["****_Are you ready to tempt fate?"_****]**

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**. **

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**Extra 01: Meeting Riku's Family **

"Oh wow, that's a nice bruise you have there, Itsuki." Shun absently noted when he visited his friend. "Did your girlfriend finally gotten tired of you?"

"Shut up," Itsuki gets the nearest object within his reach which was a pillow and he threw it straight at the unsuspecting victim's face. "I don't have a girlfriend."

"Such a violent greeting early in the morning no wonder you don't get laid at all."

Itsuki shot his friend a murderous glare.

"Fine, I will shut up now." Shun said, holding up his hands placatingly. "But seriously where did you get that nasty bruise on your cheek? It doesn't look like you get it from a fall or something…"

"None of your business."

Knowing that his friend won't answer him at all, Shun merely shrugged the incident off.

* * *

Yesterday…

Itsuki was telling Riku that he will become his doctor when the next thing he knows he was on the ground and a mad woman shrieking at his face ready to attacked him again.

"You! What are you doing with my child! I will beat that pretty face of yours into shreds at -"

'What?'

"Mom! Stop that! Itsuki-san is my friend and he wasn't doing anything bad at all!" Riku's face is completely turned ghostly pale as he was holding off his mother at further advancing.

_'What? '_

"Don't try to cover this man, Riku. He's threatening you isn't he? No need to worry, Mom will deal with this shortly."

_'What? This crazy and vicious woman is Riku's mother? And she thought him some child kidnapper?!' _

"What?! No! Itsuki-san is my next doctor, Mom!" Riku shrieked in panic. "He is specialist in respiratory ailments!"

That makes the woman paused and she finally released Itsuki's collar, her eyes still glaring daggers at him.

"Is that true?"

Itsuki numbly nodded.

He can't feel anything and his ears are buzzing. He's in a state of shock.

To his surprised, Riku's mom expression instantly turned to friendly. "Why don't you say so in the beginning?" She giggled happily.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you since the start but you won't listen at all, Mom!"

"My bad." She gently ruffled Riku's hair as she helped him up but her gaze is still cold as ice.

The message is clear: _'I still don't trust you. Just one wrong move against my son. You're a goner.'_

It's safe to say on that day, Itsuki developed a huge fear against woman.

And when Riku is alone with him, Itsuki commented absently. "You're mother is crazy and scary."

Riku looked apologetically at him. "I know. But at least she accepted you and you only sustained a bruise."

"Are you saying I'm goner if didn't pass her standards?"

Riku finally avoided looking at his eyes.

"Riku-kun!"

Fortunately for him, Riku's Father and twin didn't attacked him like his mother did but they still makes him uncomfortable especially when he was being burned alive by their stares behind his back when he is interacting with Riku.

* * *

**Extra 2: How Riku Decided It Was Best To Learn Cooking **

Since Riku knows that Itsuki was good at house chores, he doesn't given much thought about when he said he will make something for them to eat.

Surely, Itsuki isn't bad at cooking, right?

As if answering his thoughts, Riku smell something burning at the kitchen.

"Wha -WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

The pot is emitting a black smoke and luckily for him, Itsuki is smart enough to turned it off before it triggered the fire alarm at the apartment.

"This, right? I forgot to turn the ventilation fan on, why is it like that though?" There's a cigarette and ashtray on the counter and he picks it up, puffs a smoke to elaborate his point.

_"_That's not it," Riku deadpanned. "No matter how much you look at it, it's not because of the cigarette smoke. Look. It's pitch black."

Itsuki avoided his gaze.

"It seems like we won't be eating this…"

"...Yeah. Sorry."

"I will order a take out, please kindly clean this mess."

"Okay."

On that very moment, Riku made his mind to learn cooking to avoid this kind of incident in the future plus he wanted to make Tenn his favorite food as well so it's a win-win a situation for him.

* * *

**End of Extras **

* * *

**Preview: **

"Do you ever want to be an idol someday?"

"If so, then be prepared to face fate's counterattack. Because every time you decide to change something there's an equivalent exchange…"

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing in front of that room?"

"I'm sorry, I am a bit lost and thought this is my friend's room."

"...Nanase Riku, huh?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: Oh wow, This might be one of the longest chapter I ever wrote. Thank you for my beta as she was the reason I managed to finished this chapter without any trouble.

For those who doesn't know... who Musubi is... She's Tsumugi's mother and Otoharu's wife. Her canon appearance haven't shown in the canon so I made her look up because she is a necessary character for the plot development.

About Tenn and his parent's relationship… I won't fully going to write every part how they will make up their past mistakes.

And also comments are welcome and appreciated.

Anyway, Thank you so much for those supporting this fanfiction. I hope the wait is worth it. See you in the next chapter ^^

Feel free to contact me on my twitter account Razenshia08


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